We’re coming to the end of a lovely half-term, just back from visiting my mum for a few days. One son was a bit sad because he missed out on some stuff at home whilst we were away.
“You can’t do everything.” I told him, feeling strangely like my grandma, and we made plans to catch up with the friends that he’d missed, and practised counting our blessings for the good things we’d just done. But I get it. It’s hard not doing things. I’m often aware of the things I’ve not done.
I read some mummy blogger books, and I thought, “I reckon I could write like that.” But I haven’t.
I read articles about mums with side hustles, who rake in money by sewing feminist slogans onto T-shirts, or who get thousands of hits with their messages of body positivity or ethical lifestyles, and I think, “I wonder if could monetise something that?” But I don’t.
I love watching families with big broods juggling all their children, and I think, “I could have handled one more.” But I didn’t.
I watch colleagues lead things at work, and I think, “I bet I could do that.” But I don’t.
I see friends who stayed in academia write books and become experts and get titles, and I think, “I’m pretty sure I could have done that.” But I didn’t.
I’ve watched dance routines on TV and see acro on social media reels and think, “I wonder if I could do that?” But I don’t.
Just sometimes I’ll have a little go, though.
I saw people bringing their friends to Alpha, and I thought, "I reckon I could do that." and I did, and lots of people got to hear about Jesus. I saw there were spaces at Cambridge, and I wondered, "Could I do that?" and I did, and it was amazing. I heard about colleagues who got funding for Farmington Fellowships, and I thought, “I wonder if I could do that?” and I did, and it was great. And I watched people lead various toddler groups, and I thought, “I bet I could do that.” and we did, and it was lovely. And I read various funny mum blogs, and I thought, “I reckon I could write like that, but with less gin and swearing and husband-bashing.” and I do, and it’s fun.
And perhaps one day there will be time for some of the other things on the bucket list. Or perhaps not.
But for now I will count all the blessings of the stuff I have done. And know that this is my very good lot for the time being.
More on FOMO here: https://sarahhadfi.wixsite.com/website/post/on-acronyms and comparing here: https://sarahhadfi.wixsite.com/website/post/on-wise-words-from-a-welsh-woman . Because it takes me a long time to learn...
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